After last night’s comedy routine on the phone to Ikea, this morning has thrown some new and bizarre challenges at me. Despite a wonderful night’s sleep, I find myself being irrationally annoyed by many things today.
Of the things which are currently annoying me most are not hanging offences, but they appear to be getting my goat, tweaking my beard and getting on my chesticles. I’ve divided these into home and public based:
- people who ask for ‘half a teaspoonful’ of sugar/coffee/ricin (likely to get a whole spoonful of the last)
- toothpaste dribblers (in the sink, not down jumpers, that’s just amusing)
- soothing-voiced call centre operatives – don’t talk to me like I’m an imbecile. You’re the ones who cocked up. I’m shouting at you FOR A REASON.
- the bloody English weather. Make your mind up already.
And office based:
- Knee jigglers – MY SCREEN IS NOW BOUNCING. PLEASE STOP.
- Stinky food eaters (ONLY ok if accompanied by profuse apologies and clear embarrassment, in which case I will make you squirm for as long as I feel like it before saying I don’t mind)
- Whistlers (no-one knows how to whistle any more, at least, not like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQQ5sEOhbjQ)
- Hummers (it doesn’t matter what you THOUGHT you were humming, it wasn’t recognisable)
Do please feel free to add to the list. I may do so myself. Do not judge me for commenting on my own post.
Oddities in the Perspective 